Review 1: ABBA – Slipping Through My Fingers

I never thought I’ll do this, but, yup I bought meself an ABBA album! I can hear hoorays from my avid ABBA fan sisters!

ABBA – The Visitors. The only reason I got this CD (at S$19.95) was for the song ‘Slipping Through My Fingers’. We use to have this album on tape, and to those who owned a tape player before, the tape got tangled and stuck in the player’s spindle and that was it!

Somehow, this obscure ABBA song stays with me all these years and now, when I have a little girl of me own, it really hits home. For those who have not heard this song, here it is - Slipping Through My Fingers

Every time, when I see my little one off to school and waving goodbye, the song never fail to play in my head. Just hope I wouldn’t end up like the song – missing out those important moments when the little one is growing up, and not keeping to what we had planned to do together.

How true when it comes to the part, ‘Sometimes I wish/That I could freeze/The picture/And save it from/The funny tricks of time’. How fast that little one grows and one wonders, where was that chubby toddler, who once runs around clumsily in those tiny feet.

While ‘Slipping Through My Fingers’ was the song that got me buying this album, when I played the other songs, ‘The Visitors’, ‘Head Over Heels’, ‘When All Is Said And Done’, ‘Soldiers’…the familiar tunes are still refreshing after all these years! It is one of those compilations where you can hear the entire 13 tracks, and give them five stars each! And this is from one who was never an ABBA fan!?!

The CD comes with a booklet containing lyrics for all its songs. It also poignantly stated that this is the final album ABBA put together, in 1981, before they parted.

A good buy I’d say!

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Tip 16: Dear Pampering Mothers…

In today’s world of instant gratification (for the precious little brats), they must know – nothing comes free. The sooner they accept this life lesson, the better.

We have adopted a reward system where, if the kid wants something, they got to work for it. Be it packing the room or improving on a subject’s grade. Reason being – whatever they have earned, and gained through their own effort, they will treasure it more. Welcome to the real world I’d say!

Mummies however, have the knack of throwing that to the winds.

It started over dinner with a wonderful friend of ours, Aunty K, and her two lovely daughters, our girl’s bestest friend. Having a ball of her time, our little one poured loads of sugar on her roti prata for dinner. Mummy agrees that it was alright. I can live with that.

Then pleasing the kids further, off they went for this sand painting activity. One piece of this craft work, no bigger than A5 size, is at S$6.50. Hey, I can have two decent plates of chicken rice meal with change to spare! An hour went by… while mummies patiently sit through the sand painting activity with their daughters – you can leave SmackDad out of this money wasting activity.

To top it all, Aunty K went to the slot machine and bought mini rows of Mentos sweet for each three girls. This is where it all started to slide.

Instead of showing appreciation, here you have this blasted whiny kid, whining throughout our entire train ride home, on why she can’t have a go at the slot machine. And there was mummy patiently hearing her out (amidst the din of her whining and tears) and trying to reason with the little brat!

When we alighted from the train, I’ve said this quietly to SmackMum and my brat ‘If she grows up to be the devil that is demanding and unreasonable, I will kill her first. Note the word I used, kill’. That shut her up.

SmackMum was appalled such harsh words were used (And I appreciate she did not protest in front of the child). Taken out of context, it seemed I am threatening to kill my precious little one. Are you mad!?! Look at what I carefully said. I will kill the devil that is demanding and unreasonable, in other words, the kid’s behaviour!

It is a no brainer to handle such tantrums from a kid – with the many creative ways I have described in my earlier post – but to go up against the kid’s mother, who defends the pesky kid whining, is another matter all together. And with SmackMum, you wouldn’t want to cross that border.

Given that ‘A man knows no fear till he met a woman’s scorn’, SmackDad take on man's equivalent, ‘Make a man angry, he kills first and then regrets later’. Stupid but true. Call it caveman mentality if you'd like.

Any how, the night ended with mummy allowing our little one two more Mentos sweets! Grrrrrrrrr. SmackMum, if our little one do grow up to be one unreasonable, demanding brat…

Rule of the Day: Never ask the kid what they want for dinner, unless they are paying for it.

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Tip 15: School Break! Where to Bring the Kid?

It’s kinda funny we feel lost when the school holiday starts – where to bring the little brat? Singapore is boring! Well this is how we felt till we discover the farm visits.

Yup, hop onto bus 975*, it’ll bring you to some ulu, or boondocks, place that you’d never know existed in our tiny place here! One advise, bring lots of water (or juice) and sandwhiches, if u like, because there is no convenient eating place. And for the ever careful ones, a hat, suntan lotion and mosquitoe repellant!

First stop was to Hay Dairies Goat Farm. The kids – the human kind – will squeal with excitement seeing those goats, especially with the kids – the baby goats. You can feed and stroke them. The kid’s fur is really soft!

For feeding the goats, a bag of S$2 grass can be bought over the counter. Better still, scrab the fallen grass from the floor, it can be quite a hand full, and still can feed them! It was frightening for my little one to feed the goats initially, by the end of the visit, she has the kid feeding off her hand!

We, however, miss the milking of the goats. It is for public viewing only from 9 to 11 a.m. Fresh goat milk is sold starting at S$2.50 per bottle. We bought the chilled chocolate flavoured milk. Even that, it has a tinge of mutton after taste. In fact, with all the stroking of the goats, the hands smell of mutton!

Next stop, walk over to the Hay Dairies neighbour to the Dragonfruit Farm. It was a first for me, to see a dragonfruit tree. Darn tree looks like one big cactus plant! Besides the dragonfruits, there are other edible fruits and vege grown, such as passion fruits, pepper plant, sweet potatoe leaves. Passion fruit grown in Singapore?!?

By 2 pm, it was so hot, the little one just wanna run into a shelter, away from the sun. The farm has a laid back canteen, looks kinda dead though. But they do have a soccer table – for free! We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, mummy and daughter versus daddy, so what’s new. Eventually the girls won! Mummy claimed it’s her first time playing – beginners luck I’d say.

Then it’s taking bus 975 back to LOT ONE for lunch. This is the part where we wished we brought sandwhiches! After lunch, it's back to bus 975 to Qian Hu fish farm. Prepare to walk for 20 minutes from the bus stop and did I mention mosquitoe repellant? Yup, damn kamikazes sting you even while your arms, hands and legs are moving!

The new attraction here is the spa treatment by having the spa fishes (Garra Rufa) nibble the dead skins off your feet! It is S$10 per half hour and S$5 for kids during this school holiday. We decided to let the little one go for it. Apparently, it is one ticklish and itchy sensation.

For those who is crazy enough to want to experience the same spa treatment at home, it is sold at S$10 per small spa fish and S$20 for the bigger ones. Apparently, it bites off black heads too. How? Hold our breathe and soak our head in the pond?!?

This is one memorable day trip for the entire family. Best of all – no need to pay entrance fees! Worth the experience! Come next school hols, we might just do it again, more prepared.

* To get to bus service 975, stop at Chua Chu Kang MRT station, walk to the bus stop, opposite LOT ONE Shopping Mall.

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Reflections 10: Chinese LOONEY New Year!

Boy, what a relief to get it over and done – to drag through the first two days of visitation for the Chinese New Year (CNY)! I wonder is it me or there are others out there who feels the same. I really LOATHE Chinese New Year! Gasp, I can’t believe I am saying this, but I wanna be true to myself.

I have come to a stage where I can’t help but feel I am into this pseudo celebration, not because I want to, but it is more of a customary obligation, a traditional baggage.

CNY, I can’t relate any significance to it any more. The auspicious greetings, the customary handing out of ang pows (red packets), they are all done because it has to, not because we want to. If I am berserk enough, I’ll just take a trip and not turn up at all for this occasion when come next year. You not Chinese? What Chinese? I see myself as Singaporean first!

When the CNY is near, hard as I try, you can’t get away from being reminded. Every super market, shopping mall and even hawker centres will incessantly blast the same sickening CNY tune! Unlike other festivals, the Chinese songs seemed louder than most festive songs when played. I know Chinese are loud. But loud also means boisterous, obnoxious and inconsiderate.

Over the years too, I noticed a phenomenon at our place here. Usually our Chinese neighbours would be out with their kids to greet each other. But for the first 15 days of the CNY, where we will have to give red packets to each other’s children, the kids are nowhere to be seen! Either we are too considerate to know that meeting each other, with kids in tow, would mean expenses for each other, or we are just stingy to want to give that red packet! I tend to go for the former reason.

It was not too long ago CNY was really a big thing!

Where every corner of the house must be cleaned – I remember my mum taking the broom to sweep the ceiling! Where all mattress covers, curtains, cushion covers are bought brand new. Where all of us get new sets of clothes, pants (tailor made mind you!), and shoes just for the New Year. Some claimed even new under wears – I don’t recall that! Where we bothered to string up and decorate the house with the greeting cards, and Chinese decorations, even using ang pows to make into Chinese lanterns to hang.

Then there was this great anticipation to let go the firecrackers come the stroke of the CNY midnight (Okay, I am old enough to live through that era!). Other than those rolls of crackers with their super big bangs, my personal favourite is the one that spins with sparks when lighted, and then it takes off, sometimes up to knee high, and it goes with a loud bang! Come to think of it, it was bloody dangerous but fun! Today it would have come under illegal possession of firearms and ordnance.

Year after year, I feel a dread to live up to this dreary obligation and to meet relatives, not that I don’t love them, but given a choice to have this long break and my own quiet time… The irony of it all, once you make the effort, the warmth, the catching up with one another, the laughter shared, and for some, only once this time of the year that we will ever get to see each other, somehow makes it all worthwhile.

Alas, I may not be that berserk after all! As it is, I am the eldest, big ‘kid’ amongst my siblings and cousins of my generation. I wonder (other than getting the traditional ang pows from the married me!), how the younger ones feel about this Chinese occasion.

One little gem I learned from this years’ CNY gathering, somewhere in our family bloodline, there is Mongolian ancestry! Apparently, our paternal grandma’s mum is of Mongolian origin. All my younger cousins knew about this – and I was the last to know!?!

Now, do Mongols celebrate Lunar New Year?

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Reflections 9: Pets and Kid

Pets as gift – to keep or not to keep? Uncle VV, the Great, brought the kids for a pond fishing trip. And what do ya know, my little one caught her first catch – a sizeable tilapia.

Wonder why Uncle VV prefer to show the ass view of the catch?!?

The reward for their catch, they all received a live Siamese Fighting Fish (Betta Splendens)! My little one got all excited and pleaded to allow her to keep her live prize. Personally, I think this practice of giving away live animals, as reward, should stop.

I am sure, there are many kids, after the initial excitement, would simply chuck the poor fish aside like some forgotten rag doll. The difference is, this is a living creature and with neglect, it’ll die a very slow, and needlessly, painful death in the hands of these brats!

Ours was a beautiful Betta and my little one named it ‘Chicken Little’. Don’t ask what inspired her to come out with that name. When we brought it home, on closer examination, Chicken Little has only one eye left! Poor chap must have fought a hard fight with other Bettas, lost an eye and given away as a ‘reward’.


My honest first impulse, since it is free and it is not a perfect looking fish, just throw it away lah! But is that the right thing to do? What values am I conveying to my kid? That living things that are not ‘perfect’ or flawed has no value? Then again, should I take my daughter's achievement, in this case, her prize catch, no matter how small or little, that lightly? I stopped myself and decided to do the right thing – One-Eye Chicken Little will be cared for as long as it lives.

Of course the kid promised to look after Chicken Little. But alas, after two days of feeding it, it is daddy who takes over the entire caring of Chicken Little!

Just BECAUSE your kid wants it, if you have no feeling nor love for animals, don’t ever own a pet. Be it a fish, hamster, cat or dog, if you decide to have one, prepare to look after that creature YOURSELF till its life expires.

Imagine, buy a pet (because the little want say it’s cute, I want it!) and when you’re tired of it, just throw or give it away. Think for a moment, how are you shaping your child with your callous action concerning a living, breathing creature?

Truth is, at their age, they haven’t quite grasped the concept of ownership and responsibilities. So the onus is on the parent. Conversely, there are many valuable life lessons we can instill in the child while owning a pet, which I’ll share in time to come.


I am glad to say, Chicken Little is with us since June last year, and it’s well and healthy. btw, should someone stop this pond fishing place from giving away live pets as reward?

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Tip 14: Smack Your Kid – It is Healthy!

For all those who thinks my method in parenting is abhorring ;P

As the articles have shown (click pictures for bigger read), the era of showing too much respect for the kid is anything but useful.

Here’s my take –

To the parent who thinks bringing up kids with velvet glove, and let them roam free, to the tune of encouraging ‘freedom of expression’, even if it inconvenient others…

To the parent who genuinely believe that those little darlings of yours cannot be hurt emotionally (it destroys their self esteem you know), or we must cajole and persuade rather than slamming down the kid…

I have this to say – Frankly, you’re just plain lazy (at the worst) and do not have the courage to fulfill your role as a responsible parent.

I am NOT one to support abuse, but if tough love and being firm but fair means making my kid a better person, so be it. I am sure what I have applied in disciplining my kid – at least in an Asian home where discipline of the child involves slapping and caning, as part and parcel of a good upbringing in a home – is no big secret. SmackDad only describe, in detail, these methods in written form. It will however, a word of caution, make uncomfortable reading for some.

I, for one, do not belong to a goody kid in my growing up years. And what I am today, I must thank my mum who does not hesitate in meting out punishment that is far cruel (and creative in inflicting pain) than what I have described in my previous blogs!

Do I hold it against her? NO! On the contrary, I LOVE her more than anything else. Through her ‘cruelness’ she taught me one of the most important life lesson, how to ‘jo yian’ (in Cantonese) or loosely translated, a person of sound character.

I thank you mummy (she must read this!)

Let me assure you, I take no pleasure in executing the harsher punishments. And the fear that your child will hold it against you is the least of your worries. Reason being, for those who bother (and do not read my views out of context!) will know that these disciplinary methods if applied, is only used once or twice. Your relationship with your child is more of communicating, which means hear what THEY (not you) got to say first, lots of hugs, kisses and encouraging love. Be involve. That makes the difference in binding the bond between parent and child. Of course, they must know SmackDad wields a big stick if matters get out of hand…

I have to reiterate, there are children who are born angelic and there is really no reason to use SmackDad treatment at all. Bless you.

But for the rest of us, we are not so fortunate. That is where the fun in being a parent begins!

Rule of the Day: A slap in time, may save nine (er, can someone enlighten me here?!?).

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Tip 13: Daddy, What is F-U-C-K ?

Parents, if you can't stomach strong language, please leave this site.

While walking home from dinner, my wife asked, do you know that she (our little one) knows what the F-word means? So we asked her, who told you the meaning of the F-word. Her reply, ‘Daddy’. What a proud moment – for daddy! She didn’t get it from her friends, TV or the Internet, but from daddy. That's my gal!

The F-word, it is on walls, in the playground, where she explained the word to her mother, and in our lift landing, where it all started some months back. While waiting for the lift, she just has to read out the word ‘fuck’ aloud, and asked, ‘what is that, daddy?’ and daddy tells her like it is.

Fuck is when the penis goes into the vagina and that is how babies are born, like you.

I am amazed; she actually regurgitated what I explained to her word-for-word to her mummy. Darn kids have minds like sponge! I have decided, with the Internet-MTV kids today, forget about going round the bush and replace penis and vagina with cutie names like koo-koo bird or chee-chee.

With today’s array of media bombardment, masking the topic of sex from the kid is totally irrelevant and absurd. Much of this is borne from our parent’s misguided upbringing on the subject of sex and disillusioned over this idealistic desire to protect our little ones from all things sexual.

Get real. Kids are more exposed than any of us when we were at their age! But do they know what it meant? What are the consequences? It is here, as parent, we must come in.

We explained that fuck is a coarse word and not to be used lightly. Another word to use to describe the action is sexual intercourse. Sometimes when we want to have babies, then we have sex. ‘Does that mean will get pregnant?’ my little one asked. ‘Yes, if we want babies’, we replied, and mummy added, ‘remember you mustn’t allow any man force you to have sex or touch you there’.

Now she knows the meaning and the usage of the word. Once she actually pre-warned daddy, if I so continue to brand her with names like idiot, fool, stupid, pig head, dumb-dumb, she’ll use the F-word on me! That’s my gal!

Rule of the Day: A real parent is not one that brings the kid to the world but one that brings the kid up.

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